Author Topic: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)  (Read 3166 times)

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #20 on: August 29, 2011, 12:40:19 PM »
oh! Whops... :picardfacepalm: wasn't really thinking of that. Guess I'll change it to beer instead.  :D

Thanks on catching me for that one.  :thumbsup:

Offline CyAn1d3

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #21 on: August 29, 2011, 12:43:20 PM »
Guess I'll change it to beer instead.  :D

i like beer  :thumbsup:

much better  :funny
I came, i saw, i added a Sig.
Later gents, i have Youtube to take over.
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Offline ACES_HIGH

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #22 on: August 29, 2011, 07:17:04 PM »
as much as I like beer (and coffee!) the reference seems out of place, unless you're going to explain it later.

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #23 on: August 29, 2011, 07:29:10 PM »
as much as I like beer (and coffee!) the reference seems out of place, unless you're going to explain it later.

I will.

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #24 on: August 29, 2011, 07:30:29 PM »
And now for Brahms' prologue, and Saffi's death :evil:


USS SOVEREIGN ? ORBIT OF OMEGA DRACONIS KESSOK COLONY
THREE MONTHS AFTER LEGATE MATAN'S DEFEAT

Lieutenant-Commander Brahms sat at the science station on the bridge. He was still nervous about this first posting. Of course, it was a great privilege to be able to serve on a Sovereign-class vessel, but it still meant you had a lot to uphold. Especially if the captain is considered a local hero in the region.
   ?Hey kid!? Brex piped up. ?You ok? You look like your going to hurl!?
   This caught Commander Larsen's attention. ?Brahms, do you need to go to sickbay??
    ?Oh! No, Commander!? Brahms immediately snapped to attention. ?I-I'm just still trying to absorb the fact that I-I-I got assigned to the Sovereign. She's uh... gathered quite a rep...?
   ?Very well, but try not to regurgitate anything on the bridge.? She cut him off flatly.
   ?Now Saffi,? The captain said, hinting at annoyance. ?What did I tell you about giving him some slack? He's fresh out the academy!?
   ?With all due respect, ma'am, that's what bothers me. ? Commander Larsen challenged. ?He still has a lot to learn.?
   The captain pinched the bridge of her nose for a minute. Then, she turned to Brahms.
   ?What the Commander is failing to say is 'don't worry, we've all been in your position.' Just treat this like your academy drills and everything will be fine, Lieutenant.?
   Brahms sighed, a little relieved. ?Yes, sir.? He didn't understand why the Commander was such an over-tight prude when it came to crew matters, but it seemed she had an extra stick up her rear just for him. He was starting to get all those jokes the crew told about her ?Missing her cycles.? He also began to feel the same way he felt when he started through school on earth. Everyone thought him to be some sort of psycho or something, just because he was a Romulan. Even when they knew he hardly knew anything about Romulans in general, himself being human-raised. But he brushed it off like he did in school, and focused on operating the science station. That's when something caught his eye.
   ?Captain, I'm picking up a vessel warping in. It's configuration is Cardassian! It's a Hutet Dreadnought ! From the former House Arterius!!?
   ?RED ALERT! BATTLESTAIONS!? The captain barked, bolting out of her chair to tactical. ?Felix, defensive posture! Kiska, alert the colony's defenses! Brex! Shields! NOW!? The crew's response to the captain's orders was so streamlined and quick, they might have set a record.
   ?Kessok cruisers are moving in, captain.? Brahms reported. ?They're in blockade formation, ready to defend!?
   ?We're being hailed, sir.? Kiska reported.
   ?On Screen.? The captain said. On the bridge of the Hutet was Legate Matan himself!
   ?Matan!? Saffi stood up. ?What are you doing here?! You're supposed to be dead!?
   ?Oh, am I?? He said sarcastically. ?You mean the sensors on your powerful Sovereign didn't pick up my escape craft? Looks like I overestimated your ship from the beginning. But enough on explanations. Time to finish what was started!? The transmission cut, and the Hutet started firing continuous volleys of high-speed torpedoes at the Sovereign! The deck shook from the impacts.
   ?Shields are at 67% and falling!? Felix said. ?Starting evasive pa...? Before Felix could finish, the deck bucked up violently, throwing the captain into the ceiling, and Commander Larsen into the status panel behind the captain's chair! The panel shattered, electrocuting her as she screamed! The captain then fell to the floor, blood pouring from her fractured skull.
   ?CAPTAIN!!!? Brahms vaulted over his console, running to the captain. ?BREX, CUT POWER FROM THAT PANEL!?
   Brex didn't need to be told twice. The panel died, and Larsen fell down to the floor, glass shards and circuit fragments sticking out her chest and abdomen. A crewman on the bridge ran over and checked her pulse. He frowned.
   ?Brahms, she's dead...?
   ?Felix, continue evasive!? Brahms barked. He checked the captain's pulse. She was still alive, but barely. ?Brahms to sickbay, medical emergency!?
   No response. Brahms tried to remain calm, tearing off the arm of his uniform and applying pressure to the captain's wound. ?Sickbay, acknowledge! Brahms to Engineering! DAMMIT, SOMEONE RESPOND!!?
   ?System Alert! Complete internal ship-wide communications failure! Com systems are offline!? The computer voiced. Brahms began to panic. ?Crewman, get me the bridge medical kit! Now!?
   ?Brahms...? The captain opened her eyes.
   ?Shh, stay still captain. You've been injured...?
   ?Where's ...Commander Larsen??
   ?She's dead, sir.? Brahms explained as a crewman got out the medical tricorder. ?She was thrown into a console. There was nothing we could do...?
   ?Brahms... You have... Command... Stop Matan...? She started to go limp in his arms.
   ?Brahms, we're losing her!?
   ?No! Crewman, 30 milligrams catirozine!? He injected the captain with the hypospray.
   ?No effect! She's flat-lining!?
   ?Cortical Stimulator!? They applied the stimulator. ?Now!?
   The captain convulsed, then went limp again.
   ?Again!? Another jolt. Nothing.
   ?Captain, don't give up on me! Again!?
   A final jolt, but no effect. Brahms felt his heart wrench. This can't be! She can't be dead!
   ?No. Captain...?  He didn't even get to tell her how he truly felt about her.
   ?Brahms? What should we do?!? Brex panicked.
   ?What??
   ?She left you command, Brahms!? Kiska said. ?You have the conn. If you can't handle it, give to someone who can!?
   It then hit him. Hit him like a quantum torpedo. For the first time since the Kobayashi Maru, Brahms was scared. He wasn't sure if he could cut it! What if he made a mistake? A mistake that could cost the lives of the entire crew? And the colony?
   But then his thoughts went back to his beloved captain. He looked at her, sleeping eternally in his arms. This wasn't fair! She didn't deserve to die like this! That phrase kept going through his head. Then, he made his choice.
   ?I'm sorry.? He whispered. He gently laid the captain down on the deck, and walked over to the captain's chair. He slowly sat down.
   ?Brex, ship status.? Brex hesitated, stunned.
   ?BREX!? Brahms snapped. ?That's an order!?
   Brex snapped to attention. ?Internal ship communications are down, forward shields have failed! We have a hull breach on deck 9, force fields are holding.?
   ?Lieutenant Savali, tactical status of the Hutet and the Kessok blockade.? Brahms said. His face was as serious and hard as granite.
   ?The Hutet is trying to break the blockade with it's firepower. They've focused all their shield emitters on their forward shield.?
   ?Come about, Felix!? Brahms ordered. ?Ready Phasers and Quantum Torpedoes! Target their warp core, full volley!?
   ?Core targeted, sir. We're in position.? Felix reported.
   ?Fire at will!? Brahms said, scowling at the viewscreen's image of the Hutet. The Sovereign then unleashed it's fury of phasers and torpedoes on the unsuspecting vessel. The torpedoes impacted the hull, while the phasers pierced it.
   ?We've hit their core! It's destabilizing!? Felix reported. ?They have a breach!?
   ?Back us off!? The Sovereign and the Kessok then distanced themselves from the Hutet, as it exploded in fury.
   ?...The Hutet has been destroyed, sir.? Felix reported.
   ?We're being hailed by the Kessok colony. They send their thanks and gratitude for our help.? Kiska said.
   Brahms sighed. He got up out of the chair. ?Brex, I'm sorry that I snapped. I was  tense. Please get the internal com back online. Kiska, contact Admiral Liu. Re-route it to the ready room. I'll be there if anyone needs me. Felix, you have the bridge.?
   With that, he walked over to the ready room. Once inside, he collapsed at the desk and cried.

Offline King Class Scout

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #25 on: August 29, 2011, 08:04:33 PM »
you may have killed saffi, but you also killed everyone who's ever played Bridge Commander!!

talk about "dropped the bridge on her" (and vice versa)
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Offline Killallewoks

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #26 on: August 29, 2011, 08:18:55 PM »
Good to see the bitch saffi die in a gruesome way, whoever wrote that character deserves the same fate.

Offline eclipse74569

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #27 on: August 29, 2011, 10:32:25 PM »
I Like it...but how the heck did he get Lt. Commander straight out of the academy...That's something I would like to know. ;)
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return, to obtain, something of equal value must be lost.  That is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange.  In those days we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth~Alphonse Elric

Offline ACES_HIGH

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #28 on: August 29, 2011, 10:46:55 PM »
yeah, that's quite a jump in the ranks for a first cruise officer.

I thought I should also point out that the Bridge Commander manual refers to the player/captain as a male in the backstory, but that's not a big deal.

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #29 on: August 29, 2011, 10:57:39 PM »
 :funny Well, I just wanted to mix it up a bit, so I made the captain a "she."  ;)

Plus, Brahms got some favor to get to Lt-Cmdr. The Brahms family is a very prestigious Starfleet family to the core.  :salute2:

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #30 on: August 29, 2011, 11:20:05 PM »
One quick thing I need to ask:

Does it have good drama?  :idk:

Offline ACES_HIGH

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #31 on: August 30, 2011, 12:13:50 AM »
well, it could use more, you dealt with that Hutet pretty quick for a dreadnaught.

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #32 on: August 30, 2011, 07:18:54 AM »
well, it could use more, you dealt with that Hutet pretty quick for a dreadnaught.

Noted. I'll try not to keep things short next time. Thanks for the feedback. :thumbsup:

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #33 on: August 30, 2011, 09:52:05 AM »
I've added a poll, and wanted to spoil everyone with an image of one of the scenes from later on. The challenge for the throne when Anasazi has to select two people to fight at his side in the battle.



Anasazi: I choose the Starfleet captain and the Jrekkon! Your days are at an end, "father!"

Brahms has that "We're gonna kick your ass" look. I love it! :yay:

Offline Vedic

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #34 on: August 30, 2011, 12:17:07 PM »
Your image appears to be dead.

Offline eclipse74569

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #35 on: August 30, 2011, 12:19:31 PM »
They're fine on my end...
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return, to obtain, something of equal value must be lost.  That is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange.  In those days we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth~Alphonse Elric

Offline ACES_HIGH

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #36 on: August 30, 2011, 12:49:32 PM »
Noted. I'll try not to keep things short next time. Thanks for the feedback. :thumbsup:

Its not that it's too short, it could be longer, but my point was that you blew up a dreadnaught with a single volley of quantum torpedoes.  Hutets are supposed to be powerful enough to destroy a small planet.

Offline Vedic

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #37 on: August 30, 2011, 01:45:05 PM »
They're fine on my end...

Might just be Chrome related problem.

Hutets are supposed to be powerful enough to destroy a small planet.
As can every other Trek vessel.

Offline ACES_HIGH

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #38 on: September 13, 2011, 03:21:41 AM »
:funny Well, I just wanted to mix it up a bit, so I made the captain a "she."  ;)

Plus, Brahms got some favor to get to Lt-Cmdr. The Brahms family is a very prestigious Starfleet family to the core.  :salute2:

technically speaking, he wouldn't need to be that highly ranked to be placed in command in this situation, with Miguel and Saffi out of the picture, the highest ranking officer (other than your character) is Felix, and he's only a lieutenant, Brex is actually a Chief Petty Officer even though they refer to him as an LCDR throughout the game.  It wouldn't be too unbelievable for a cadet to be given the rank of LT out of the academy (Kirk graduated with this rank) and it's not too much of a stretch for Saffi to choose your character over Felix if they are the same rank.

Offline Cpt. Brahms

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Re: Star Trek: Atlas (Fan Fiction literature)
« Reply #39 on: September 17, 2011, 12:09:01 AM »
technically speaking, he wouldn't need to be that highly ranked to be placed in command in this situation, with Miguel and Saffi out of the picture, the highest ranking officer (other than your character) is Felix, and he's only a lieutenant, Brex is actually a Chief Petty Officer even though they refer to him as an LCDR throughout the game.  It wouldn't be too unbelievable for a cadet to be given the rank of LT out of the academy (Kirk graduated with this rank) and it's not too much of a stretch for Saffi to choose your character over Felix if they are the same rank.

Wasn't really thinking of that... :picardfacepalm: Forgot Brex was a Chief Petty officer...

I'll make him a Lieutenant then.

Also, some things have come up and I may not be online for while. I'm moving to a new place, and have to find a new net service. I'll try my best to keep in touch with the site, and continue to work on this for the community. I really want people to read this, and haven't shown it to many people.

I will continue on this, and do my best to update as much as I can. Probably from a coffee shop wi-fi or something, but I won't let this just die.

I will be back. AS TOM from Toonami said, "Stay gold."