« Reply #2610 on: September 25, 2011, 02:09:20 PM »
From In Defense of Humanity: Canadian Power Meets Doomsday
September 9, 2011
07:13:11 PM AKST
HMCS Warrior, ~400 km south of Adak Island
Tonight, dinner was being served for most of the crew. Newly promoted Vice Admiral James Chen permitted civilian wear for the celebratory dinner which featured ribs, wings, burgers and pizza, along with plenty of pop and juice.
Most of the senior officers were eating happily in their mess, joking about and eating happily. Chen was wearing a navy blue shirt and jeans, happily eating ribs and fries.
The new Vice-Admiral suddenly had a sinking feeling. He noticed that the officers were glancing suspiciously or whispering things to each other. He was about to ask when suddenly a certain tradition took place. He realized what was going on but it was too late.
He suddenly felt two people grabbing him from behind, dragging him out of his seat, to the laughter of the other seniors who stood up and moved in. The two who extracted the Admiral was the two Victoria Cross winners on board, perennial jokers off duty. They were joined by Commodore Trembaly and several of the others, lifting the hapless yet laughing Admiral off the ground. They then carried him out of the lounge.
They passed by laughing officers and enlisted, many deciding to follow the hilarious procession. A few of the officers had sneaked close and gave Chen a taste of cream pie. Chen was carried all around the decks until they arrived at the ship swimming pool. He was then stripped of his civilian clothing. He had already planned for this, since he had previous experience in the tradition, both as the dunker and the dunked. As such he was wearing (rainbow colored) swimming trunks in anticipation of the tanking.
The Chief Engineer LTC Lewis Gage now stood up at podium next to the pool, donned in his old red UBC engineering jacket, which was covered in pins and patches. Chen was now on the floor with four of the officers next to him on either side.
"Hear ye! Hear ye! The court of the HMCS Warrior is now in session! We have one James Chen in front of us. He is accused of the following three offenses:"
"First, the pool hasn't been used for a while!"
Chen could hear the huge crowd call out: Boo!!!!
"Second, he's wearing rainbow swimming shorts!!!
BOO!!!!
"Last and most heinous of all: he's now a Vice-Admiral!"
BOOOOOO!!!!!!!
"How do we find him?"
Guilty!!!
"Tank the bastard!"
With that the four officers lifted him up by the arms and legs. They now started to swing him, aiming for the pool. After a count of 3, he was released and entered the pool.
Logged
Calvin grows up to be Frazz. The logical continuation of this is, of course, that Frazz then grows up to be Edward Norton's character from Fight Club. And thus, all four of these characters are gods.Let's go one more step. Calvin grows up to be Jeremy, who grows up to be Frazz, who grows up to be "Tyler Durden," while Suzie grows up to be Haruhi Suzumiya; since Kyon becomes The Doctor, this leads to the inescapable conclusion that after the end of Fight Club, Calvin becomes Captain Jack.
