Author Topic: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread  (Read 454781 times)

Offline newman

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #360 on: July 15, 2008, 05:19:35 AM »
pub(l)ic health notice

Offline JimmyB76

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #361 on: July 15, 2008, 07:28:24 AM »
Just As Important, That's What Campbell's Soup Is, Plus The "Mmm Mmm"

"One thing is clear, is relations between America and Russia are good, and they're important that they be good."

- Dubya, Strelna, Russia, July 15, 2006


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Offline Ambassador

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #362 on: July 15, 2008, 12:08:23 PM »
For the ultimate in Trek randomness...


Offline laguardia528

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #363 on: July 15, 2008, 01:11:16 PM »


A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence.

Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the fucking beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"


Offline Judge King

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #365 on: July 17, 2008, 05:13:52 AM »






Calvin grows up to be Frazz. The logical continuation of this is, of course, that Frazz then grows up to be Edward Norton's character from Fight Club. And thus, all four of these characters are gods.Let's go one more step. Calvin grows up to be Jeremy, who grows up to be Frazz, who grows up to be "Tyler Durden," while Suzie grows up to be Haruhi Suzumiya; since Kyon becomes The Doctor, this leads to the inescapable conclusion that after the end of Fight Club, Calvin becomes Captain Jack.

Offline JimmyB76

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #366 on: July 17, 2008, 07:22:55 AM »
Do You Kiss The Former First Lady With That Mouth?

"See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it's over."

- Dubya, chomping on a dinner roll while talking about the Middle East crisis with British Prime Minister Tony Blair at the G8 Summit,
St. Petersburg, Russia, July 17, 2006


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Offline laguardia528

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #367 on: July 17, 2008, 05:28:29 PM »
The Pillsbury Doughboy is wanted for attempted murder :

A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said "Are you okay?"

The woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in."

Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store, where store officials called the paramedics. They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.

A Pilsbury biscuit cannister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head. When she reached back to find what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She passed out from fright at first, then attempted to hold her brains in.

Offline laguardia528

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #368 on: July 17, 2008, 05:34:50 PM »

Offline limey BSc.

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #369 on: July 17, 2008, 08:26:07 PM »
The Pillsbury Doughboy is wanted for attempted murder :

A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said "Are you okay?"

The woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in."

Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store, where store officials called the paramedics. They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.

A Pilsbury biscuit cannister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head. When she reached back to find what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She passed out from fright at first, then attempted to hold her brains in.

They tested that on Mythbusters, and as adsurd as it sounds, it is plausible!
MUSE!!!


Offline laguardia528

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #370 on: July 18, 2008, 02:17:02 AM »
All comics copyright of whoever makes Calvin and Hobbes
















Offline JimmyB76

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #371 on: July 18, 2008, 07:15:35 AM »
Nobody Does Facts Like I Are

"The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who's spending time investigating it."

- Dubya, on the probe into how CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity was leaked, Washington D.C., July 18, 2005


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Offline 1DeadlySAMURAI

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #372 on: July 18, 2008, 12:09:46 PM »
lolcats. endless amount of laughter. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:






Offline JimmyB76

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #373 on: July 21, 2008, 07:36:31 AM »
"Insiders say that if Karl Rove resigns, President Bush will not function effectively.  Wait a minute - all this time he's been functioning effectively?"

- David Letterman, October 2005


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Offline Senator

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #374 on: July 22, 2008, 07:59:39 PM »
What does a vegetarian zombie say?

"Grains!... Grains!..."

That is all.

Offline laguardia528

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #375 on: July 23, 2008, 04:12:22 PM »
Tom and Clark were standing on the roof of their building drinking a few beers on their break and Clark said, "Hey Tom, did you know that if you jump off this building, after you get down so far, a draft will pull you back inside the building on the third floor?"

"Get outta here," said Clark.

"No I'm serious, watch me."

Clark hopped off the building and sure enough, he was taken in by the draft at the third floor window. He took the elevator back to the top and Tom and a security guard that arrived were standing there, Tom in awe.

"I can't believe it." Said Tom.

"I know you should try it Tom."

So Tom hopped off and plunged into the ground.

"Superman you're an asshole when you're drunk." said the security guard.

Offline JimmyB76

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #376 on: July 24, 2008, 07:14:48 AM »
Why Is This Man Talking??

"I know what I believe.  I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right."

- Dubya, Rome, Italy, Jully 22, 2001


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Offline 086gf

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #377 on: July 24, 2008, 02:37:33 PM »
Old but still funneh.
All hail the messiah!

Weasel

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #378 on: July 24, 2008, 03:14:57 PM »
Old? Hell, my grandfather used to tell me that joke when I was 5 years old, and I'm friggin ancient compared to most of you people.

Offline Judge King

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Re: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread
« Reply #379 on: July 25, 2008, 05:58:33 AM »
Calvin grows up to be Frazz. The logical continuation of this is, of course, that Frazz then grows up to be Edward Norton's character from Fight Club. And thus, all four of these characters are gods.Let's go one more step. Calvin grows up to be Jeremy, who grows up to be Frazz, who grows up to be "Tyler Durden," while Suzie grows up to be Haruhi Suzumiya; since Kyon becomes The Doctor, this leads to the inescapable conclusion that after the end of Fight Club, Calvin becomes Captain Jack.