Simple, I got damn lucky! - was say to wiley the other day, Fuck knows how i could better this, and his response was if i can do this now, imagine if i keep pushing what i might be able to do in 2-3 years time, try somthing organic, try the galaxy class" - my response to that was FUCK OFF lol.. i know most of it is probably in my own head, self doubt and crap like that, but when a mind wonders and u cant keep it under cheack or control it can give you some challenges, trust me, i am my own worst enemy and i do fight every day to try and over come my problems, but it is easier said than done.
I know what you mean. I've had hard times too, hell, everyone has. It is hard, but you get through it, and when you do, you feel a bit better. I think that, hat you survive, makes you stronger, and you learn from your mistakes. There will always be more hard times, but, at least you know that you've got family, friends, and us to help you out. I have had a hard 18 years, because my dad was never around, only saw him 4 times in my life. Now that I'm 18, he doesn't even have to pay child support. I have had it rough, but, even though i didn't have a dad, I had a loving mom. Even if you are adopted, if you have a loving mother or father that you can call family, you will get through life. 
I hope life gets better for you. I know how it is, we all do.
Also, This is the best Vor'cha I have EVER SEEN! Great job dude, cookies away!