YOU MIGHT BE A CROSS COUNTRY RUNNER IF
...your toenails are black.
...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does.
...you need a magnifying glass to see your name in the paper.
...you have chafing in strange places.
...your team nickname is "Run for Fun."
...people say, "You run three miles...at once?"
...all your socks are either stained or torn.
...your underwear covers more than your uniform shorts.
...you run farther in a week than your bus travels for meets.
...the dogs have to hurry to keep up.
...your mom tells you to run to the store because it takes too long to drive.
...you find yourself running between classes just because.
...the most enjoyable time you've had all month is a day off from practice.
...your coach won't give you a ride home.
...the first day of practice you run 5 miles but your coach says you only ran 2.
...you can spit while running.
...you go to a golf course to run.
...your friends go on the elevator and you beat them on the stairs.
...you finish the race looking like you wrestled a bear and you don't care.
...your temper is shorter than the distance that you ran.
...you'd rather run to school than drive.
...you combine phrases like "10 mile run" and "Easy Run" in the same breath.
...you can eat your weight in spaghetti.
...your highest heels are your training shoes.
...you debate the advantages of anti-perspirent vs. deoderant.
...the paint from the bathroom walls peels when you leave.
...you start the race in shorts and finish in a G-string.
...your spit strings from your chin and you don't even care.
...a meal involves more than 3 servings!
...if you schedule dates around meets.
...you spend more on training clothes than school clothes.
...you wear those same training clothes to school regularly.
...you take more pride in making signs for the car to go to state than in your homework.
...your Christmas list includes more than one pair of running shoes.
...you've been to a golf course in every city but not to play golf.
...your entire family goes to cross-country meets because they have been or will be on the team.
...your chest is as flat as your back.
...you feel lost without your water-bottle.
...you have running withdrawal if you don't run everyday.
...you eat spaghetti three times a day.
...the mile in P.E. becomes your warm-up.
...you wake up every morning in pain.
...Gatorade is your drug of choice.
...you give up homecoming to go to the State Meet.
...your Saturdays for the next 4 years are ruined.
...you can see your ribs through your shirt.
...you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
...you asked to be an extra for Schindler's List II.
...you run to the state meet.
...you enjoy running hills.
...you start to crave Power Bars.
...your favorite food group is carbohydrates.
...your women's team has leg hair longer than the grass they ran on.
...you call bus seat number 17 your second home.
...you can strip and change in a bus seat in less than 2 minutes.
...you don't puke your first day of basketball practice.
...there are no flies by your gym locker.
...people think it's a winter sport.
...you have trouble benching the bar.
...you find yourself in the middle of a football player's joke.
...your dessert is brussel sprouts.
...you foam at the mouth.
...you are always hungry.
...you're running in your dreams.
...you have no life besides running.
...your weekends are shot.
...you wake up with cotton mouth.
...you're are as skinny as a twig and have a stupid knit cap for the head.
...you can sharpen an axe blade on your calves.
...the lunch ladies look good in the morning.
...you can maintain a 5:30 pace while throwing up.
...you think track is for wussies.
...you try to impress girls by saying you're a fast finisher.
...you consider school as just a break between runs.
...you always stretch while waiting in the lunch line.
...your room smells like Icy-Hot and New-Skin.
...your girlfriend can bench more than you.
...you can count all your ribs.
...you own spandex in more than 1 color.
...track is the other "sport".
...you foam at the mouth every time you see a big hill.
..."Chariots of Fire" is actually entertaining to you.
...a 12 mile run is an easy day.
...pizza, pasta, pizza, & pasta are your four food groups.
...your watch is more expensive and complicated than your car.
...even your dress shoes have spikes.
...there is actually a reason to be excited about going to Northfield(site of the state meet).
...Runner's World provides more pin-ups than Playboy.
...Steve Prefontaine's Birthday is more important than yours.
...you aspire to pain.
...you know as many kinds of pain as eskimos have words for snow.
...you think spandex is a winter's passion statement.
...you like going to Northfield for the weekend.
...you never look behind you.
...you don't know what an "off-season" means.
...you have stress fractures.
...you find yourself saying, "it's not really a hill..."
...you have a special bond with a Honey Bucket.
...you hit targets with your snot rocket.
...your feet are comparable to rawhide.
...you're running and you don't know why.
...you see a hill on a putting green.
...your friends refer to you as "the masochist".
...your spit hits everything but the ground.
...the song "Bad Moon on the rise" sounds like "Bathroom on the Right."
...you drink more water than Free Willy.
...you can't get the "All you can eat" at spaghetti restaurants.
...you get arrested for running over 70 in a 60 MPH zone.
...you get pulled over after practice, and can't walk straight because you're so tired.
...you ran sub 5 on the P.E. mile run.
...you wore spikes on the P.E. mile run.
...you did a 30 minute warm up for the P.E. mile run.
...you did all of the above for the P.E. mile run.
...you routinely race dogs down the street...and win.
...dogs follow you everywhere you go.
...you rabbit for the rabbit.
...you have 3% or less body fat.
...you laugh at sprinters while they run.
...there's nothing like intervals to start the week off fresh!!
...you talk to your coaches more than your parents.
...you'd rather run than watch T.V.
...watching the New York Marathon on T.V. made you get up and go for a run.
...you can say "I like to run" in over five different languages.
...more than half the people you know don't know what cross-country is.
...you run the day after State.
...off-season training starts a week after State.
...you haven't had a pop in 6 months.
...your calves are bigger than your biceps.
...your cookie jar is filled with bagels.
...there are more miles on your running shoes than the odometer of your car.
...you try to pick up a girl by telling her how fast your first mile is.
...you're toe nails are falling off.
...a fat man with a gun says "Alright gentlemen take 'em off."
...you can't go a day without some little brat saying "Run, Forrest, run."
...some little kid wants to know why you're running in your underwear.
...you can pronounce those funny Kenyan names.
...you're proud that another team has quadrupled you're score.
...the seniors assist the freshman into the lake.
...you wear skimpier clothes than Madonna.
...you refer to puke as a bodily function.
...people always ask you what events you are running.
...you can hallucinate and get high at the same time without taking anything.
...you can say more names of your runs than names of your friends.
...you spend more time thinking about the scoring system than you do about scoring with the opposite sex.
...you always win in your sleep but never in a real race.
...you traded in your Gremlin.
All of these are true!
